- My husband is an alcoholic: what should I do? How to deal with an addict?
- If there are children
- How to leave painlessly?
- Features of divorce
Attention!
Drug use causes irreparable harm to health and poses a danger to life!
Progressive addiction affects not only a person’s physical but also mental health. The personality of an alcoholic often undergoes difficult-to-reversible changes, which become the cause of social maladjustment. The wives and children of patients are the first to experience the negative consequences of the disease, although they do not have to experience this.
The main reasons or psychology of relationships
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Every woman who has lived a certain period of her life under the same roof with an alcoholic will definitely say that life is unbearable.
Every woman who has lived a certain period of her life under the same roof with an alcoholic will definitely say that life is unbearable. In this situation, it doesn’t matter who the drunkard is, there is still no life, life turns into a constant stressful situation, hence all relationships collapse, and children often have psychological problems and fears. Of course, no woman can tolerate an alcoholic husband for long, and there are objective reasons for this:
- A drunk is a person with an unstable emotional state, unable to control his actions, emotions, and actions. As a rule, the mood of such people changes unpredictably, so your life and the life of your children turns into a “powder keg” lifestyle.
- Changes in the drinker's character. Alcohol can destroy not only brain cells, but also personality. This results in sudden and negative changes in the drinker’s character. In the behavior of a drinker, two parallels can be drawn: before drinking alcohol, the person is adequate, kind and sympathetic; after drinking alcohol, he is angry, unpredictable and cruel.
- Inadequate perception of real life. An alcohol addict considers himself right and normal in any situation, i.e. under the influence of alcohol, he loses the line between reality and intoxication. In such a situation, every word you say will be perceived as an invasion of his personal space, an imposition of your opinion and lifestyle. As a result, this state leads to the fact that the drinker begins to hate you and perceive you as his main enemy.
When experiencing such experiences, you have several options for solving the problem:
How to cure an alcoholic husband from drunkenness?
- expect a miracle or endure forever;
- professional treatment;
- kick out the alcoholic and live a quiet life.
Is it worth living with an alcoholic: the emotional state of loved ones
The results of many studies indicate that people married to a person who abuses alcohol are 3-4 times more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety and depressive disorders. By the way, this is what often provokes the development of alcoholism in relatives of an alcohol addict (occurs in 25% of cases). Moreover, wives who are prone to codependent behavior, have few girlfriends, and believe that alcohol will improve their relationship with their husband usually start drinking more often.
Important!
According to statistics, alcohol abuse is the cause of about 30–40% of divorces.
A chronic psychotraumatic situation leads to the formation of a neurotic state in 2/3 of the wives of alcoholics
, and about half of them require professional medical care. Usually they do not realize the severity of their condition, since their attention is completely focused on their husband. Their own interests and needs are suppressed, and cognitive, emotional and spiritual development of the individual is blocked. Over time, this leads to the formation of numerous mental disorders and codependency, which requires treatment and rehabilitation on a par with alcoholism.
Causes of addiction
There can be many reasons for alcohol addiction
There can be many reasons for the onset of alcohol dependence. For example, work-related problems, low wages, frequent scandals in the family, any stressful situations. Of course, if a person is strong not only physically, but also mentally, there is no need to worry about an alcoholic breakdown, however, if a person is weak, he will find the solution to all his problems in alcohol. At the beginning of drinking alcohol, a person will behave absolutely normally, but the longer the consumption of strong drinks is carried out, the faster the body will get used to the drunken state and the life of the family will become unbearable. Therefore, as soon as you notice obvious changes in the character and behavior of a man, you should unconditionally solve the problem.
Remember, the craving for strong drinks does not go away on its own, and the sooner you seek help from specialists, the faster your life will acquire its usual rhythm.
New life or how to get rid of a drinker
At the moment when life becomes unbearable, a woman realizes that she can no longer tolerate an alcoholic in the family
At the moment when life becomes unbearable, a woman realizes that she can no longer tolerate an alcoholic in the family. If you have decided to firmly end all relationships, you should understand how to kick an alcoholic out of your home without consequences. Of course, it will not be possible to completely avoid problems and troubles, because... a kicked out alcoholic will ruin your life and mood in every possible way. It's always difficult to break up, but it's even more difficult to break up with someone who drinks, because... all the time you will feel guilty about something and engage in self-criticism. Feelings that may arise when breaking up with a drunk:
- Feeling strong feelings. Psychologists say that feeling love for a man who is addicted is a normal state. In this state you experience love for your memories, i.e. in other words, you love the man you once met, and not the alcoholic.
- Feelings of guilt, pity and fear. Every woman worries about how a man will live without her. At some moments it will seem to you that he will simply die without you or do something to himself. This is a normal state, believe me, as soon as you remain in silence and without stress, this feeling will go away instantly.
- Faith in promises. An addicted person quite often uses pressure on emotions and promises that he will start a new life without alcohol. Turn off your emotions and try not to believe, remember these are empty promises.
- Don't be led by your feelings. If you decide to kick out a drinker, follow through. At the moment when you once again feel sorry or scared, remember how good it was to live before alcohol appeared in your life. Think about the children, do they really need daily stress and a drunken dad?
Content:
- Possible problems: 1.1. Financial difficulties. 1.2. Emerging diseases. 1.3. Family relationships.
- Is it worth living with an alcoholic: the emotional state of loved ones.
- How to live with an alcoholic: advice from a psychologist: 3.1. What to do if you live with an alcoholic.
Alcoholism destroys thousands of families. Indeed, not every person is ready to put up with the endless whirlpool of binges, abstinence and very short periods of “enlightenment”. Moreover, situations when the addict himself voluntarily agrees to come to a narcologist are rather an exception to the general rule. And yet, is it possible to live with an alcoholic? Is it possible to persuade him to undergo treatment and return to normal life?
How to kick a drinker out of the house?
Kicking a drinker out of an apartment is a relatively easy task.
Kicking a drinker out of an apartment is a relatively simple task, but there are situations when the home belongs to both spouses. We offer several recommendations that can solve the problem:
Alcoholic wife syndrome and psychology
- The apartment belongs to the spouse. This situation is the most difficult, it won’t work to kick your spouse out, so the easiest way is to get ready and leave him. If you have the opportunity, try to raise some funds. As soon as you feel safe, file for divorce. Don't be afraid, depression and hopelessness will pass, change your life for the better.
- The apartment is in common ownership. In such a situation, you have the option of dividing your property by selling it. To do this, you need to carefully build a dialogue with your spouse, do not provoke him into a scandal, otherwise he will not agree to the sale and departure.
- Municipal housing. In such a situation, you will have to go to court, write a statement about the asocial and immoral behavior of your spouse, find witnesses (neighbors) to confirm that the drinker poses a threat to your life and the safety of your children. After submitting the application, wait for the court's decision; as a rule, there may be two options for solving the problem: eviction or forced exchange.
- The apartment is your property. This option is ideal because... To start a new and calm life, you need to collect your spouse’s belongings. We also recommend replacing the locks, because... The drinker will definitely try to return to his usual place of residence.
What should your wife do?
Watching a once beloved husband gradually degrade, completely dissolving in the abyss of a drunken world, is extremely difficult. And, of course, a woman needs to make every effort to still try to save the family and pull her husband out of the whirlpool.
Consequences of alcoholism
And sometimes a woman is faced with a choice: leave her alcoholic husband or waste her last nerve on sometimes fruitless attempts to return the person to a sober life. And no matter how bitter it is not to realize it, sometimes the only way out of this situation is to divorce the drunkard.
The most important thing is to come to such a decision on your own and cast aside any remaining doubts about the correctness of the conclusion. What can stop it?
A pity? Yes, this man was once loved and adored. But he didn’t take advantage of the chance for happiness and ruined his own life, while simultaneously killing his wife’s nerves/psyche. After all, despite all the arguments, persuasion, requests, he does not stop drinking. Does such a person really need pity?
In such a situation, you should feel sorry for yourself, for your gloomy future together. Is a husband who has lost his human appearance capable of giving happiness to his wife, giving a good example to his children, what will he teach them? Early introduction to the bottle?
Losing a child's father? By the way, this is one of the common reasons why a woman continues to tolerate her husband’s drunken antics. But this is the greatest self-deception, based on the unwillingness to change something in the usual and very sad life with an alcoholic. An alcohol dependent person is not capable of becoming a real, good father. Moreover, there is a high probability of stress and mental disorders in the little man when he constantly sees his dad drunk and insane.
You should not continue to traumatize your child. The most sensible thing for his future is to leave the drunkard and start living again. And the father, if he really wants to be a dad, will be able to visit the baby, of course, only when sober.
Tips and tricks from happy women
5 effective tips from women who managed to start a new, calm and happy life
We suggest using 5 effective tips from women who managed to start a new, calm and happy life:
- Stage No.1: make a clear and firm decision; you should leave even if the man is not behaving aggressively.
- Stage No. 2 solve the housing problem, worry about the safety of children, perhaps it is worth changing schools or kindergartens.
- Stage No3: Calmly inform your spouse about your decision to separate, preferably in the presence of someone for personal safety.
- Stage No. 4: disappear from your spouse’s life, change your phone number, limit yourself to communicating with mutual friends, exclude visiting places where you can meet him.
- Stage No5: if you have severe depression, make an appointment with a psychologist; psychotherapy sessions will help you quickly cope with stress and depression, as well as forget about your fears and experiences.
The most important recommendation is to change your image, take care of yourself, feel like a woman.